Remembering Octobergloom
2008-2014
About
What can you make with an abundance of time, a dash of youthful naivete, a ton of raging hormones, a fountain of creative juices, and a pocketful of hope?Our teenage years were some of the best and some of the worst. It was a time of discovery and exploration, both around us and deep within; a time of unbridled creativity, paired with a strong urge for collaboration and camaraderie. It was a couple of years' worth of experiences summed up in a song or a book, a poem or a painting, a blog or a website.The heartaches, the adventures, the hope for a bright future... Little steps to one's dream career, or perhaps a mere detour from one's ultimate fate.This page is a dedication to a life that once was.
History
The Predecessor
Before Octobergloom.net was Swaying Emotions.
Screenshots from Wayback Machine
It was the art portfolio of a long-time internet friend known as "Ayakohi" that had sparked my interest in web creation. After a couple of lessons about the basics of HTML and CSS from her via chat, supplemented by personal research into other websites made by chronically online people my age, I launched Swaying Emotions sometime in 2007 through GeoCities.With a background made entirely using Paint and a banner splashed with a mismatch of Photoshop brushes, the signature gloomy style was born. Despite being aesthetically amateurish and filled with misspelled words and incorrect grammar, Swaying Emotions was still a worthwhile first attempt at cataloguing my creations. (I was only 12.)
The Inception
Despite being a pre-teen, I was already well aware that branding is a must, which was why I eventually decided to purchase a domain name. In early 2008, I chose to add "Octobergloom" to the name I had already been known as for a couple of years by then--"Miho." There was no question as to the domain name I chose for my first real website.Octobergloom.net's infancy was marked by several months of... emptiness. And I'm not talking about how I was feeling at that time. It was just a splash screen that I most probably hastily made using Photoshop signifying the website was still under-construction. Unfortunately, the image does not load on the Wayback Machine.
It was only in late-2010 when I found the time and the motivation to simply use a free design template and modify it to suit my tastes. The graphic design resource website Aun Existe Amor had exactly what I was looking for.
Screenshots from Wayback Machine
As with its predecessor, Octobergloom.net was meant to be a portfolio for all my works of the literary, photographic, and (digital) artistic nature. A year prior, I had started my blog Miladyness on the Blogspot platform, which I updated more frequently than the website. I also had a YouTube channel for my song covers, although it didn't survive the "Great Cleansing of 2014," unlike Miladyness which is still up, although I no longer have access to it.Octobergloom.net linked to all those other places on the internet, except for the YouTube channel.
The (Re)visions
In 2011, I updated Octobergloom.net a couple of times, adding more and more written works, as well as graphic freebies. These additions were chronicled on the home page via the CuteNews Content Management System. It was also in this year when I moved my photography folio to one hosted by Tumblr.It was in 2012, while recovering from a major surgery, when I made multiple changes to the website, foremost of which was to change the its look and feel--this time, all designed and coded by yours truly.Although the domain had always been a collective portal to my so-called "Symphonia Network," the two other sites that had been part of that network prior to 2012 were both hosted elsewhere (my Blogspot blog and my Tumblr photography folio). Up until that point, my vision of creating other websites accessible via subdomains hadn't yet become a reality.In mid-2012, I added multiple subdomains including Ambiguous Minds, a group-collective for young creative social outcasts; Autumn Mist, a fan listing collective; and a fan listing for a Japanese browser game called WebKare (Web Boyfriend). These subdomain sites, along with the main Octobergloom.net page, remained online until the "Great Cleansing of 2014."I wish I could show screenshots of the entire Symphonia Network when they were still up, but unfortunately they were never archived.
The End
In early 2013, the "Great Cleansing" commenced. I was going through an "image change," as the Japanese call it, so I strived to remove all traces of my past from the face of the internet. I either privated or deleted old blogs, as well as defunct social media profiles. I had just turned 18, and I knew that I needed to be more responsible digitally, given that the online landscape was also starting to change around that time. Even posts from years long gone (between 2009-2013) on my official blog did not survive this major event.Aside from doing away with my old self, I also changed my name from "Miho Octobergloom" to... something else. All my active profiles during that period reflected this shift across several months. I took off my doe-eyed-alt-prep vibe and exchanged it for a more mature and reserved mask. It wasn't the only thing I crumpled and threw away for good.The final bell tolled for Octobergloom.net in early 2014, when my domain and hosting plan expired. Some months passed and I had a brand new life in a different country.A decade and two years since, but I never had the chance to mourn the death of Miho Octobergloom. The precocious weirdo, the pre-teen gamer who refused to level up her characters in pRO even if she was a part of an upper-mid tier guild, the girl who wrote that one controversial novel, the cheater who had three online boyfriends at the same time and still flirted with others, the annoying self-important brat who liked to invade adult spaces, the Smappie who abandoned the local fan club chapter she co-founded and then threw away her love for SMAP when she moved to Japan, the multi-hyphenated disaster, and many other things that shouldn't be said out loud......until now.
The Question
What became of Miho Octobergloom?Well, that is a hard question to answer. All I know is that a part of her still remains in me. Yes, she has learned her lessons, but many still find her quite annoying when she isn't masking to fit the rigid rules of society. Yes, she is still thriving online, somewhere... but she now knows how to compartmentalize--how to keep her real life private. Yes, drama still finds her at times, but she now knows how to make a smooth and safe exit.She is in a much better place, but the gloom never leaves. Because what she felt before is still very much relevant today. In a world where hate spreads like wildfire, at a time where the only thing that people can unite over is shared rage... Gloom is helplessness, gloom is misery, gloom is elegance, gloom is peace.But really, I'm doing much better than I ever thought I'd be. And I am no longer alone, so I'm happy!